My Most Memorable Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day has always been special to me since my children were born although I always thought I should be thanking my children for making me a mom instead of them thanking me.

However, Mother’s Day 1998 was my most memorable for another reason.

My oldest daughter Marie had just started college and dating the first boy she said she loved when she found out she was pregnant. The young man offered to marry her but she thought about some serious problems they both had and felt she had to refuse.

Over the next several months, Marie was torn between keeping her baby and choosing adoption. When she considered the most important question of what would be best for the baby, she finally decided on open adoption. It was not an easy decision and we were both heartbroken by the realization that Marie would not be raising the baby herself.

Unfortunately, due to the unwed pregnancy, there was almost no support from extended family members. In addition, most of Marie’s friends supported her rejection of abortion but not her decision for adoption. However, I was proud and awed by Marie’s heroic determination to give her baby the best life possible.

It was a difficult time but then on Mother’s Day that year, a card came in the mail from a priest friend of mine that brought a big ray of sunshine and truth to the situation. 

It was a beautiful Mother’s Day card for Marie!

Marie and I both smiled and cried because it was such a wonderful acknowledgement of Marie’s eternal motherhood as well as the gift of life. I can never thank that priest enough for his timely encouragement.

Four months later, Marie’s daughter was born and released to a wonderful couple who sent pictures every month.

Later on, when Marie’s daughter grew older, she called Marie every Mother’s Day and because of the generosity of her parents, she saw Marie often until Marie’s untimely death in 2009.

This thoughtful priest’s kindness in 1998 should remind us all that Mother’s Day should always be special whatever the circumstances and whether or not our children are in our arms or just in our hearts.

 

College professor Rachel Adams:”My son with Down syndrome is not a mascot for abortion restrictions”

In this Washington Post article, Rachel Adams, herself a mother of a child with Down Syndrome, maintains that

“But we won’t end discrimination by limiting access to abortion, which will have the unwanted consequence of driving some women to risk their health by seeking illegal alternatives and other women to bear children they are not prepared to raise. Better to put resources into services and supports that improve the lives of people with Down syndrome and their families.” (Emphasis added)

This presents a false choice between aborting a child because of a probable diagnosis (without knowing the eventual prognosis) and a possibly difficult life for the mother, even though studies have shown great satisfaction in families with a child with Down Syndrome.

Also, it is very telling that nowhere in this article does Ms. Adams even mention adoption. There are groups helping prospective adoptive parents for children with Down Syndrome and other special needs. Here are just a few (this does not imply my personal endorsement of any group) : National Down Syndrome Adoption Network, Special Angels Adoption, Adopt America Network, Love without Boundaries-Adopt Special Needs, Special Needs Adoption Coalition.

Ms. Adams obviously loves her son but prenatal medical discrimination has led to medical discrimination after birth for people with disabilities. All the “resources into services and supports that improve the lives of people with Down syndrome and their families” she mentions will not necessarily protect her son’s life as he ages and especially if her son outlives her.

My son and daughter-in-law hope to adopt or foster a child when my daughter-in-law recovers from her recent kidney transplant. They have said they would be happy to have a child with special needs, especially a child with Down Syndrome like my son’s late sister Karen.