Two Wonderful Stories: A Prenatal Misdiagnosis; Man Saves Grandchild from Abortion

A PRENATAL MISDIAGNOSIS

 Drew and Adriann Corpstein were devastated when they were told at 20 weeks that their unborn baby had a lethal brain abnormality called semilobar holoprosencephaly, an abnormality of brain development in which the brain doesn’t properly divide into right and left hemispheres. They were told that the baby might only live a few days as a “vegetable” and encouraged the couple to consider a late-term abortion.

Instead they decided to trust God, deliver their baby and love him for whatever time they had with him.

Baby Matthew was born on July 29 but just the next day, the doctor gave them the stunning news that Baby Matthew did NOT have the lethal brain condition but rather hydrocephalus-an excess of fluid around the brain that can be treated with a shunt. Baby Matthew could then survive and even have the chance of a fully functioning life! (Click here to see a beautiful video of Baby Matthew and his parents.)

Personally, I have seen more than one prenatal diagnosis turn out to be wrong.

Of course, prenatal testing is not always wrong but there is cause for concern about the number of unborn babies misdiagnosed, especially with some newer screening blood tests. (Please see my February blog A Dark Side of Prenatal Testing” )

But there are alternatives to abortion when the prenatal diagnosis turns out to be accurate.

As Baby Matthew’s parents mentioned in the article, they prepared for end of life care for him when he was expected to die shortly after birth and there are often such hospices available in many areas.

There are also organizations like Prenatal Partners for Life  and Be Not Afraid that provide support, information, resources and encouragement for carrying to term with an adverse prenatal diagnosis.

These organizations’ websites also have parents’ stories of their children with a range of prenatal diagnoses ranging from lethal ones like anencephaly to disabilities like Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida.

MAN SAVES GRANDCHILD FROM ABORTION

This month, I read an uplifting story that personally resonated with me.

With a heavy heart because his wife was “dead-set” on abortion for their 16 year old daughter, “Brian” took his daughter to A Woman’s Pregnancy Center  in Tallahassee, Florida. But when his daughter went in to speak to a counselor, “Brian” was surprised when a male counselor wanted to speak with him.

“Brian” didn’t know that when a client comes into A Women’s Pregnancy Center (a crisis pregnancy center) with another person, the staff determines the other person’s relationship to the client and invites the support person to speak with a different counselor about their thoughts and feelings on the client’s situation.

“Brian” told the counselor that his wife wanted their daughter to have an abortion and he wanted their daughter to be safe. But when the counselor told him, in effect, that ‘You are made in the image of God for a reason and a purpose. You are Eliza’s father AND the grandfather of her child. He is the Creator of the Universe and has given you this role. Trust Him, and He will equip you to take care of your family’, “Brian” changed.

He went to his daughter and said “Baby girl, we’ve got this.” He told his daughter to look at him and said “I’m going to take care of you.” His daughter burst into tears of relief.

Sherri Daume, director of client services at the clinic, explained about ministering to a support person when a woman is considering abortion:

“The support person is often as confused and scared for their loved one as the client herself. They might have a grandchild or niece or nephew in the picture. They usually want to help the client but don’t know how. We equip the support person with information and resources that help them support their loved one in a relevant way.”

I totally agree with this and I have personally seen the effects of such support.

When my oldest daughter Marie became pregnant at 18, her friends were “pro-choice” on abortion. But, as she told me, she knew too much about unborn babies and abortion from growing up in a pro-life family. For Marie, abortion was out of the question.

Marie was surprised but pleased when she told her “pro-choice” friends that she would not have an abortion and they enthusiastically supported her decision. Many even offered to help. However, they did not support her anguished but brave decision to release her baby for adoption.

I told her that I would support her if she decided to raise her baby herself but she decided that her and the father’s problems would keep her baby from having the best life possible.

That decision was hard for our family to accept but our beautiful oldest granddaughter turned 20 this week with the loving and proud parents who adopted her after birth. And despite my daughter’s untimely death almost 9 years ago, we are so grateful that our family will also be able to celebrate this milestone with her and the family who adopted her.

 

 

My Most Memorable Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day has always been special to me since my children were born although I always thought I should be thanking my children for making me a mom instead of them thanking me.

However, Mother’s Day 1998 was my most memorable for another reason.

My oldest daughter Marie had just started college and dating the first boy she said she loved when she found out she was pregnant. The young man offered to marry her but she thought about some serious problems they both had and felt she had to refuse.

Over the next several months, Marie was torn between keeping her baby and choosing adoption. When she considered the most important question of what would be best for the baby, she finally decided on open adoption. It was not an easy decision and we were both heartbroken by the realization that Marie would not be raising the baby herself.

Unfortunately, due to the unwed pregnancy, there was almost no support from extended family members. In addition, most of Marie’s friends supported her rejection of abortion but not her decision for adoption. However, I was proud and awed by Marie’s heroic determination to give her baby the best life possible.

It was a difficult time but then on Mother’s Day that year, a card came in the mail from a priest friend of mine that brought a big ray of sunshine and truth to the situation. 

It was a beautiful Mother’s Day card for Marie!

Marie and I both smiled and cried because it was such a wonderful acknowledgement of Marie’s eternal motherhood as well as the gift of life. I can never thank that priest enough for his timely encouragement.

Four months later, Marie’s daughter was born and released to a wonderful couple who sent pictures every month.

Later on, when Marie’s daughter grew older, she called Marie every Mother’s Day and because of the generosity of her parents, she saw Marie often until Marie’s untimely death in 2009.

This thoughtful priest’s kindness in 1998 should remind us all that Mother’s Day should always be special whatever the circumstances and whether or not our children are in our arms or just in our hearts.

 

College professor Rachel Adams:”My son with Down syndrome is not a mascot for abortion restrictions”

In this Washington Post article, Rachel Adams, herself a mother of a child with Down Syndrome, maintains that

“But we won’t end discrimination by limiting access to abortion, which will have the unwanted consequence of driving some women to risk their health by seeking illegal alternatives and other women to bear children they are not prepared to raise. Better to put resources into services and supports that improve the lives of people with Down syndrome and their families.” (Emphasis added)

This presents a false choice between aborting a child because of a probable diagnosis (without knowing the eventual prognosis) and a possibly difficult life for the mother, even though studies have shown great satisfaction in families with a child with Down Syndrome.

Also, it is very telling that nowhere in this article does Ms. Adams even mention adoption. There are groups helping prospective adoptive parents for children with Down Syndrome and other special needs. Here are just a few (this does not imply my personal endorsement of any group) : National Down Syndrome Adoption Network, Special Angels Adoption, Adopt America Network, Love without Boundaries-Adopt Special Needs, Special Needs Adoption Coalition.

Ms. Adams obviously loves her son but prenatal medical discrimination has led to medical discrimination after birth for people with disabilities. All the “resources into services and supports that improve the lives of people with Down syndrome and their families” she mentions will not necessarily protect her son’s life as he ages and especially if her son outlives her.

My son and daughter-in-law hope to adopt or foster a child when my daughter-in-law recovers from her recent kidney transplant. They have said they would be happy to have a child with special needs, especially a child with Down Syndrome like my son’s late sister Karen.